Vacation without my child

How long did you leave the child with the father?
How long does the tantrum last when you leave?
How well does your husband handle the role of a father—can he play with the child, distract them, take them for walks, and organize a full routine so the child can maintain their usual life when you're not there?
Overall, if there's no experience of staying calmly without you for even a few days, ten days will be a lot.
It's important to prepare the child for staying with the father by starting with short periods and gradually increasing the time, so the child sees that you return at the agreed time and everything is fine. Leaving suddenly won't work well because, at their age, the child won't be able to fully grasp and accept that you've just gone on vacation.

Good evening.
At this age, a child is very strongly attached to the person who cares for them. This is especially true of parents, and specifically the mother. Because it is the mother who embodies the energy of love without which a child cannot exist.

Since a child of this age cannot yet speak, crying serves as their language. Through crying, the child tries to communicate that something is missing, something is unpleasant, or something hurts...

And if the child reacts to your absence with a tantrum, this fact requires special attention.

In truth, you have already acted very wisely by seeking advice from psychologists. So, in my opinion, before going on vacation, it would be best to first understand the reasons behind the child’s reaction.

Could you please tell me: Are you raising the child without the father, and does the grandfather occasionally step in to fulfill the father’s role?

Or are you planning to go on vacation with your husband, the child’s father, leaving the child in the care of the grandfather again?

Did you feel tired and how often during the period after the birth of the child?

In your opinion, do you have enough internal resources to keep your thoughts and feelings on the child for a long time?

The answers to these questions can help to some extent to find the reason for the child's tantrums in your absence. Which, in turn, will make it possible to make the right and balanced decision about the vacation. After all, caring for a child is not only physical, external care, but first of all, a question of psycho-emotional connection.

Your child is at an age where they are very strongly attached to their mother.

But regardless of the child’s age (10 months, 1.5 years, or older), they should be attached to the adult they are left with.

That adult should be able to put the child to sleep, feed them, dress them, take them out, and entertain them. They need to be prepared for difficult nights and know how to soothe and distract the child.

Is your husband ready for this?

It’s best to address this issue well in advance, giving yourself not just one month to prepare. This shouldn’t intimidate the father, who will then have to handle it. If he feels confident in his abilities, everything will be fine.

Look at the situation realistically—if the child is completely calm when left for a full day without you, then you can leave with peace of mind.

However, I want to draw your attention to the child’s tantrums when you leave. This is not normal.

Your child is experiencing separation anxiety. At its core, this stems from a sense of threat to their safety and fear.

This should have been addressed long ago by consulting a child psychologist.

Right now, leaving the child in this state poses a risk—the consequences for their mental health could be unfavorable.