My husband's unfounded jealousy

Hello!

Unfounded jealousy of my husband

I sympathize with you. It must be truly awful to live for so long under false accusations of infidelity.

As you wrote, he has been experiencing

delusional jealousy

for five years.

All attempts to resolve the issue have led nowhere—

He has been to a psychologist several times, but it only helped temporarily. He started drinking and creating scandals, then calmed down and became reasonable again. This lasted for three years. He also saw a psychiatrist, but he either mixed medication with alcohol or stopped taking it altogether.

Instead,

Since the beginning of this year, he has completely lost it. He has even fabricated a specific scenario without any evidence that I cheated on him with his best friend... He automatically labeled all my friends as matchmakers. He restricted my social circle and installed cameras in the apartment. Almost every day, he first tried to force me to confess, and now he just wears me down emotionally.

So, you had to leave, but your husband

spread rumors about my alleged behavior among relatives and strangers, and people believe him.

Now, you have been living in fear for six months.

Is that correct?

At this point, I have some questions for you:

What are your plans moving forward?

How are you trying to maintain your emotional balance?

A few words about your attempts to justify yourself. Why did you do it if you were innocent?

I’m sure there are many more questions about why you tolerated these suspicions and accusations of infidelity for five years.

I believe progress is possible only with the help of a psychologist, where you can work through your self-perception, ideas about married life, and the ability to assert your personal boundaries.

Good afternoon.

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. It must be incredibly difficult to see someone you love in such a state. You mentioned that your husband has been ill for five years, has undergone treatment with a psychiatrist and a therapist, and even showed some improvement for a while. His "breakdown" six months ago—was that linked to him stopping all treatment and drinking alcohol? Why did he refuse treatment?

Does your husband have any co-occurring psychotic disorders, dementia, organic brain damage, or addiction? This is important because if his delusional disorder is isolated, it may be possible to maintain a relatively stable family life (though the belief in your infidelity will likely persist). The situation becomes much more complicated if there are additional conditions like alcoholism, psychotic episodes, or neurological disorders. The primary illness must be treated first.

No amount of explanations, evidence, or facts can convince someone experiencing delusions of jealousy of your faithfulness. The only way to improve the situation is through treatment (psychiatric care).

Without treatment, his condition will likely continue to deteriorate. At that point, he may pose a danger to himself and to you.

You mentioned that those around you believe his delusions. Don’t your family and friends know you? And what about strangers—how much does their opinion of you affect your life?

A prolonged period of symptom presence suggests that the delusional system is already well-established, making spontaneous symptom resolution unlikely. However, improvement is entirely possible. If the man:

- stops drinking alcohol;
- consistently takes prescribed psychiatric medication;
- remains under medical supervision,

then the intensity of the delusions will likely decrease over several months. He may become less certain of his beliefs and experience fewer conflicts.

Continued alcohol use could maintain or worsen symptoms.

Does he experience other symptoms, such as voices, suspicion of others, or memory problems? Are there any other manifestations of the illness?

Do you know the man’s diagnosis? This would influence the communication strategy to adopt.

"But some still believe him because he’s very kind, attentive, and no one doubts his words."

What does this mean for you?

How do you feel in this situation?

If I understand correctly, you hope your husband will return to how he was before? You’re not considering divorce?

He won’t be the same as before. With strict adherence to the psychiatrist’s recommendations, improvement may be possible, but not a full recovery. This is your new reality.

Bipolar disorder is not a simple mental illness on its own—it’s compounded by alcoholism and delusions of jealousy. It takes a great deal of inner strength and resources to try to support someone who is ill and refuses treatment.

It’s up to you to decide whether you’re prepared to stay through all of this, with no guarantees.